I've always tried to stay strong, keep my hopes up and stay focused. However, after everything that happened. I'm thinking otherwise to give up already. Well, I've already thought of giving up many times before only to find myself incapable to do so.
But things are different this time...You already moved on...completely, so complete to the extent that you already found someone to take my place. maybe that's how things really happens...
Maybe it's not because you hate me or what...but because you are just trying to find someone with that sense of companionship, some thing that I don't have. this is probably why no matter what I do, nothing really changes anything, I may have your attention for an hour, but he has your attention for the rest of the day. He's the one who's always there for you, someone whom you're always with, someone whom you can share your problems with, and maybe someone you've always dreamed of.
I'm no longer surprised to know that you were already officially together...I've expected it as soon as I knew that he's courting you...Yes, it hurts...but what can I do? nothing right?
Well, I told you from the very start that I will not interfere with your every decision...not only because I don't want to but also because I don't have the right to.
But Some things are still bothering me...so many things still remain unsettled...and as long as these things remain unsettled...nothing would really be over.
To start with, what I'm disappointed and probably mad about was not the fact that you are both officially together...but rather because of your actions toward me.
You gave me false hopes and made me think that it's not yet over...you made me believe lies like, ""Love parin nmn kita mike kahit papano eh", "Hindi pa kame", "I'll never forget you", "I don't want to lose you" and the worst of all. "hindi na muna ako magbo-boyfriend until college"...
I also don't know why you acted strangely Sweet to me during the time you were there in Taiwan...saying things like ":*", and again, "Love parin naman kita mike kahit papano eh" or probably thing's like
Why did you even say these things? to keep my hopes up? give me false hopes again? or maybe just because you miss him so much that you even assumed I was him? You may have said that you're not a user...but that's what I felt...I felt like you just used me so that you won't feel his absence...
And in the first place...you've said these things to me though you were both already officially together hereby making me feel like a total idiot who tries to steal some guy's girlfriend.
And by the way....you also told me you won't forget me...You said things won't change, but what is this? I no longer feel your presence anymore...no efforts to talk to me or maybe just settle things out...
Why? was his return caused an amnesia to you? is it because you still get over our last conversation? or because you never should have talked to me in the first place? Tell me cause I need to know! cause so many questions still remain unsettled in my mind...questions that only YOU can answer.
I know that it's not really your intention to disappoint me and make me feel like these but guess what? I've interpreted things a lot different cause you never even tried to explain things to me and clarify them as well...Well, its too late for that, the damage has been done. again, there's nothing we can do but just to get over it and accept it...
You know I've always trusted you...but you disappoint me always too...You could have made things a lot easier if you just told me everything...you could even stay up late every night to talk about unimportant things but why can't you spend even just a single second telling me the truth?
Is it that difficult? did hiding the truth made things better? No right?
It would've been easier to accept things if it came directly from you rather than knowing it by myself or from others.
Yes, I would no longer deny that I am mad at you...but believe me, What I've always felt for you never changed...cause I wouldn't waste my time writing this post if I no longer love you...but I will no longer pursue you, you're with someone else already and it wouldn't be nice if I'll still talk to you that often. and maybe that's how things should really be. Maybe in that way, moving on would be easier for me...Someday, you'll read this post...and I hope that if that day comes...It's not yet too late.
